Thursday, 15 September 2016

Sharing my fears...

Hi everyone!

Today I want to discuss some of my fears as I think it would be interesting to see if any of you share the same. My best friend Leonie, actually wrote this blog post during her 31 day blog post challenge. I really enjoyed her post and it got me thinking about some of my fears so I thought I would share mine with you. I always think fear itself is quite an unusual concept if you think about it. Some of these fears we have may never happen to us or hurt us, but our mind makes us believe that they are scary and horrible. 

My first fear which is probably my biggest fear and is something that affects me almost everyday and it is the fear of getting locked in or trapped somewhere. I don't mean getting locked in your house, but getting locked into places that are very difficult to get out of. For example, I really don't like using public bathrooms as I am terrified that I will get locked in the toilet cubicle. Whenever I use a toilet cubicle, I always have to work out how I will escape if the lock gets stuck and I cant get out. I also hate using elevators and will only use them if I really have too. The fear of the elevator breaking and getting trapped freaks me out so much. I do get claustrophobic in these situations which can make me feel very overwhelmed.

My second fear is of bugs. This is a pretty common fear and is not something that affects me too much, I also use the term 'bugs' very lightly. I actually mean Spiders and Moths. I hate spiders and I hate it when you get those really big fast moving ones. I have had many a heart attack while trying to get rid of a spider using a glass and the spider has fallen out onto me. However, to an extent I can deal with a couple of spiders. Moths, on the other hand, I cannot! I am terrified of Moths and I do believe that they are the spawn of satan. If there is a moth in a room, chances are that I am not in the room either as I would have run out screaming a couple of seconds earlier. I dislike Moths as I feel like they don't have their life together, they can never make their mind up over which direction they want to fly in. Instead they just fly in multiple directions and end up flying into you in the process. No thank you!

My third fear is of the sea. I don't mind paddling in the sea but I don't like swimming in the sea. I don't like the fact I cant see where I am putting my feet and I never know what I could be stepping on. I always tend to injure myself in one way or another when I am at the beach too which also doesn't help. I have a huge fear of drowning or of boats sinking. Whenever I go on a boat trip, I always make sure I am outside so that I can easily escape if anything does happen. I'm scared of kayaking and canoeing on the sea too as I am scared I will capsize and drown. If there is someone else in my kayak with me then I feel a lot safer. For some reason, doing all of the above activities on a lake or river feels completely different and I love it!

My fourth fear is of Bears. I never knew this was a fear of mine until I was put into a situation where I could become vulnerable to it. When I went too America last year, one of the places we travelled too were the White Mountains near North Conway aka the prettiest place I have ever been! We wanted to go hiking and I was so excited to explore and do some exercise. However, before we started the hike, we had to read lots of information on Bears and how we must act if we are ever approached by one. This made me really nervous and I became incredibly paranoid of my surroundings as we started our hike. I got myself overly worked up and I started to panic. We couldn't finish the hike as I convinced myself that I was going to get eaten so I refused to go any further. I didn't see a Bear during my whole holiday but the thought and fear was still just as strong.

My fifth fear is of tablets. I hate taking tablets and I won't take medicine unless I really feel I have too or I am in a lot of pain. I am so scared that a tablet will get stuck in my throat so it takes me ages to actually swallow them. I have so much difficulty that I usually end up chewing them - which tastes disgusting!

My sixth fear is of clowns. I hate that everything about them is so fake, you don't know who the actual person underneath is. They are just all round creepy.

My final fear is a bit deep, but I have a fear of failure. I am scared about not succeeding in education, in work and life in general. I always fear that I am going to let other people down if I fail at something.

So those are my fears, what are yours?

Ellie xxx

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/HeartbeatEllie
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